Alternate Snafu
by SweenyG
Summary: A new chapter! Who says Brody is gone. NEVER! An AU sequel to SNAFU. PerSalle discover that their two co-workers were much closer than they let on. Fluffy and nutty.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was the original ending to Serious Snafu, that came after the now last scene with Percy and LaSalle. At first, I thought it was a fun, surprise ending. But, as soon as I posted it, I got response that it didn't fit with the rest of the story. I it kinda took away from PerSalle, so I ditched it after a few hours.** **Then I had an idea for it to go out on its own so here you go...**

 **Disclaimer: NCIS:NO and the characters there in are the property of CBS, the show's producers and other smart, wealthy people. Not me, I just obsess over them, making and expecting nothing in return-except maybe some feedback.**

Chapter One

After giving LaSalle and Percy a stern talking to about their relationship, Pride locked up the office and went upstairs to his apartment. As the late afternoon sun streaked into the living room, everything looked dusty and still. He glanced out the window and saw the two kissing near their cars. Ah, young love. Not quite what he wanted to see, but it made him smile. Suddenly, he felt a crush of loneliness and checked his watch. It was still early; he could shower, eat something, and go to the bar to jam with the house band; that always helped him feel better.

He went into the bedroom and peeled off his shirt. As he sat on the bed to take off his shoes, a pair of arms tightly encircled his neck. He gagged and his distress was met with the sound of laughter.

"Jesus, Merri," he croaked. "You almost choked me!"

"I think you'll survive," she giggled and nipped at his ear.

He smiled and pulled her over his shoulder into his arms, kissing her with delight.

"You are going to be the death of me," he said when they broke.

"Let's test that theory," she replied.

Twenty minutes later, they lay in a tangle of sheets. She put her head on his chest, gently stroking the fine hair.

She smiled. "You give the kids a good talking to?"

"Yeah, but it was hard. I felt like a hypocrite," he said.

"They deserve it; they're amateurs!" she said. "Caught after only six weeks...We've been together six months and no one is the wiser."

Pride grinned. "Yeah, we're good. We're real good."

"Dwayne," she said, curling his chest hair around her finger. "Maybe we should think of coming clean."

"That would go over well," he said. "Four agents becoming two couples? We'd never live it down." He chuckled. "They'd probably call us the Love Boat…"

"Still," she continued. "It might be better than…" She bit her lip.

"Than what?" he said.

"If something happened to force our hand," she said.

"Now, what could happen?" he kissed the top of her head.

"Oh, I don't know," she said. "We could get sloppy and get caught or," she paused. "Or, I could get fat."

He laughed. "Now how would that…." the words froze in the air. He sat up and pulled her with him.

"Merri...what are you saying?"

She looked down. "W _hat if_ I was pregnant," she almost whispered.

He tilted her face up at the chin, "What if?"

She remained stoic as tears filled her eyes. "I'm pregnant."

Pride grabbed her and hugged tightly. "I guess we'll be taking a cruise."

 **But wait, there's more**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

A few weeks later, Sonja came into the office early to make some calls to England, where one of their suspects had allegedly fled. As she put her purse down, she suddenly realized she had to pee. Damn that early cup of coffee. Being the first one up, she felt obligated to make a pot for Chris. But, of course, he had then called to her and she went back into the bedroom. Skip to 20 minutes later, her plan to get in at 7 was turning into 8. The coffee had finished brewing and smelled so good, she had to drink some.

LaSalle, of course, was not interested in joining her.

"You do the early bird thang, City Mouse," he drawled from under the blanket. "I can mop up what's left in a few hours."

Back at the office, she went to the bathroom off the kitchen and heard the unmistakable sound of a woman retching. She recognized the gender specific noise having spent many unhappy hours in college trying to console her friends as they unleashed after a frat party or a binge. Still, whether bulimic or alcoholic, girls always gave out higher pitched and shorter bursts of sound than guys as their stomach contents reversed course.

Since there were only two women at the office, and she was one of them, Sonja quickly deduced who was tossing her cookies.

"Merri, are you OK? It's Sonja," she said to the door.

"Yeah," Merri croaked. "I...arrgggurgghhhh"

Sonja wanted to be a good friend, but she really had to pee and she didn't want to be rude and make her ill co-worker move away from the toilet. Plus, there was the clean up.

"I'll be right back," she said as she ran to the bath on the second floor. When she came down, she then grabbed a towel from the kitchen, soaked it in warm water, and knocked again.

"I'm back," she said. Hearing no reply, she opened the door slowly. Merri was sitting on the floor between the sink and the toilet looking gray and wrung out. Percy knelt down and put the towel around Brody's neck.

"Want to rinse your mouth out?" she asked as she got up and filled a paper cup with water.

Merri nodded weakly and took the cup. She swished the liquid around her mouth and spit into the toilet.

Sonja sat opposite leaning against the shower stall.

"Stomach flu?" Percy asked. Merri shook her head.

"Food poisoning?" Percy asked. Merri shook again.

"Betty, you out partying?" Merri sighed deeply, and then shook.

"I know you don't have an eating disorder," Sonja said. "Do you?"

Merri spoke this time, "No, but it is chronic."

"Crohn's disease?"

"I wish," Brody stood up, a bit wobbly, Sonja put the toilet cover down and eased Brody on it gently. She began to rub Merri's back gently.

"Well, I give up. Why else would you be throwing up in...the...morn...ing…"

The light bulb went on. "Oh shit, girl."

Brody nodded. "Yep."

Sonja had no idea that Merri was seeing anyone special or not-so-special for that matter. She wanted to ask who the father, but, you had to handle it delicately.

"So, can I ask, I mean, do you know…" she started.

"Who knocked me up?" Merri finished.

Or, not so delicately.

At that moment, there was a rap at the door. It was Pride. "Honey, how are you feeling?"

He popped his head in, "I made you some dry toast."

Sonja looked first at Pride and then at Brody.

"No fucking way!"

Brody had composed herself. "That's usually how it happens."

Pride came into the room and put his arm around Brody. "We've been together for awhile now…"

The tables were now turned. Percy crossed her arms. "How long?"

Pride made a face, "About seven months."

Just to make it a party, LaSalle's voiced sailed in from the other room.

"I brought beignets. Where is everyone?"

Sonja ignored him for the first time that morning. She looked Pride straight in the eye.

"Wait a minute. You gave LaSalle and me a big lecture, when you and the missus had already been together for months?"

At that awkward juncture, Chris entered the open door.

"What's everyone doing in here?"

Sonja turned to him, "Brody and Pride have been knocking boots for six months, and she's having a baby!"

LaSalle laughed, "No really, what's going on?"

 **To be continued. Eh, maybe**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** This is probably lowest on my ladder of stories, yet inspiration struck and it is so much fun to write, and I REALLY MISS BRODY! With the season premiere, this is way AU-but isn't that what FF is for? I'll answer that with a resounding damn straight! Also, it's picked up some new followers and I never want to let my peeps down! Yes, I said peeps. Live with it.

 **A/N:** DI is Defence Intelligence - the British Intelligence agency that covers all branches of service.

 **Chapter Three**

Ten minutes later, the four of them sat at the kitchen table, the air heavy with silence. Pride and Brody occupied one side, LaSalle and Percy the other. While Merri looked the color of rancid mayonnaise, she managed to keep down a few bites of toast. Pride and LaSalle wolfed down the beignets, probably to avoid discussion.

Percy had no appetite. She alternately traced and tapped the top of her tea mug with a well manicured finger. Finally, she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"So, we're just gonna sit here and be all 'Young and the Restless' about this?" she spat out.

"Sonja..." LaSalle began.

"No, really" she said crossing her arms. "Me and LaSalle, you two guys, and now you're pregnant! This is some kind of fucked-up."

Pride and Brody gave each other small supportive smiles.

Brody said, "Well, we were first…"

"And yet, didn't share that with the class," Percy snarked.

"Would that have changed the way you feel about Christopher?" Pride asked.

Percy made a face. She could not ask them to hold back any more than she could with Chris.

"No…" she said reluctantly. "But, what are you gonna do?" Then thinking of the unpleasant implications of that question, added hastily, "You getting married?"

Pride reached out and took Merri's hand. "We've talked about it," he said.

"Yes, we have," she affirmed. "But, we're taking it slowly, for now."

Percy opened her mouth, she was going to say something about it being too late for that, but her filter intervened. LaSalle touched her hand and gave her a 'be nice' look.

"So?" she began.

"So," Pride began to smile. "We're having a baby. And, we're gonna to be the best parents we can."

"You going public?" LaSalle said, wiping of his mouth.

"Not right now," Pride admitted. "But, soon, before it's becomes apparent, because..."

"Enquiring minds will want to know," Chris finished the sentence.

"I love this lady," Pride smiled at Merri. "And, I'm not ashamed of that or the pregnancy."

Brody smiled back sweetly and squeezed his hand. She managed to eke out, "Neither am I," before suddenly covering her mouth and bolting again for the bathroom. Her retching started again with the subtlety of a chainsaw.

"I'd better go back in there," Pride said. He got up and turned to Percy and LaSalle, surprising them with a broad smile. "I read that having bad morning sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy - means all the hormones are working." Merri punctuated this point by beginning a series of dry heaves. He hurried back.

Sonja held her head in her hands and looked over at LaSalle.

"You know what this means?" she asked.

"What?" he said, still eating.

"One or both of us will have to quit!"

Chris stopped and faced her. "Now how do you figure that?"

"C'mon, four agents, two couples. You might as well tell Washington that one of us is a mole for a drug cartel." When he didn't reply right away, she continued to rant. "I'll tell you one thing, they're not going to be throwing us a double wedding!"

Secretly, LaSalle couldn't believe she even referred to possible marriage, she always shut him down whenever he brought up their future. But, he knew her well enough to recognize that she was being dramatic.

"I know, but this is where we are, and the powers that be will just have to deal," he put his hands over hers and gave her a quick kiss. "Remember, we're all good agents and training new ones is expensive and they hate expensive," he said quoting the words King had said to them just a few weeks ago.

"You channeling Pride now?" she pulled back.

"Wise words worth repeating," he said.

"If he was so wise, then maybe he should've thought to wear a condom," she said.

"I did," Their boss's baritone came from behind. "They're not foolproof."

LaSalle chuckled to himself. He and Sonja had experienced a few malfunctions themselves with the wily rubber, but had been lucky so far.

Sonja turned bright red. "I'm sorry Pride. That was a mean thing to say. I just…"

Pride put a hand on her shoulder. "I know, I know, it's a shock and you're upset." He sighed. "Listen, we'll just take it a step at a time."

Merri came back into the room and laid her head on Dwayne's shoulder. He put a protective arm around her.

"No one is going anywhere. We'll keep working our cases and show them how indispensable we all are," he stated emphatically.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

An hour later, in the office, they were discussing their latest case involving a U.S. Naval intelligence officer suspected of espionage.

Pride turned to Sonja, "So what did they say about Graham at the DI?

Again, Sonja went scarlett. "Oh shit! I never called them. When I came in, I heard Merri and…"

Pride nodded. "You got distracted."

Sonja grabbed her cell. "I'm already on it-It's still only three there."

"Isn't that tea time," LaSalle said, pointing his pinkie over an imaginary cup.

"That's four," Brody said.

"Score one for the Preggo," Sonja said leafing through her contacts.

Merri frowned. This was going to be a long seven months.


End file.
